possibility

Relationships of all kinds really are a test of character. Mother daughter, boy girl, brother sister.. they can all make you feel such different emotions so quickly. and it all boils down to how much you care. thats really all that matters. because if you dont care then its out of sight out of mind. once emotion is invested your stuck and you cant get out. i invest emotion too easily, and therefore i easily get stuck. i concentrate so much on pleasing everyong and doing the right thing and avoiding conflict at all costs that at the end of the day the only one that is suffering and left thinking about the situation at all is myself. its unhealthy. and its wrong. its not the way that one should go about doing things. i tried this whole put yourself first.. do what you think is right.. say what you feel thing.. all it has done is cause drama throughout all of my loved ones. it has to be a balance just like everything else. everything is good in certain amounts.. too much and suddenly its not as good or precious as you thought it once was. relationships are filled with balance, and compromise, and everything else in between. too much of someone, or some topic, and it loses all meaning. at least for the time being.. one day you might feel certain that your decision is the right one, and then the next morning you wake up and wonder how you ever thought that was a good decision and all you can think about is how stupid it is. its funny how emotions can so easily effect how you handle a situation. sometimes you feel so certain and you know that you couldnt have it anyother way and then all of a sudden something else.. another feeling.. another part.. another person changes yoour whole perspective and all of a sudden you are right back where you started.. its that cycle.. it never stops.. even if you stop.. if you give up. its just keeps going and pushing you until eventually.. minutes, days, monthes, even years later you suddenly realize and remember the whole reason you were thinking about that certain thing in the first place. and 99 out of 100 times you will make the same conclusion about the situation as you did before and then you will second guess yourself.. and thus the cycle continues
life eh