i am being taken advantage of

Dew just called me and basically told me that I am picking him up later from his managers house. sweet. i know that he just assumed that i would because i could tell by the way that he didnt ask he just said so yah you might have to pick me up later. and then he just decides that i also have to drive his manager friend bt home too. why not be nicer about it. and at least pretend that you are interested in what i did today. kinda piss me off. but i kinda want to go and pick him up because then i get to see pie whom i haven't seen in a really long time and he loves me.

i got ridiculous drunk on friday with ginger and decided it would be a good idea to call moth and say fuck you. then he proceeded to walk all the way to my house and as i bawl my eyes out he can tell me everything is going to be okay. there was a moment that I DO remember even though i pretty much dont remember anyything we were talking about. we almost kissed. not so much almost as he told me to look at him. and i did. and we just kept staring at eachother. and i wasn't going to stop it. but he did. and he hugged me. cause i am a drunken idiot. and just do not understand. i think it really was like a friendship kiss. if it were to happen. in the weirdest way possible it would have been closure, of the fact that out friendship is okay and i will be okay. i dont know why i care so much, i have too. no matter what i just love the guy. and i just am not ready to end this friendship with him. everything just has to be okay with him or seriously my world ends. it ENDS, i have now officially cried my eyes out over a guy. that is my friend. i bet ill read this years later and think so myself silly me how did i not notice that im not in love with the guy and should just be with him already. and then i will realize that i already knew i should but for some reason something is stopping me.

and i know that deep down i could never fall in love with dew because i love someone else. and its just a fact


streetfight - hedley, so buy me the ocean and paint it with pretty little stars.